Guilt
by missjoy
Summary: You know, They'll remember me as a monster but I wonder how they'll remember you. Songfic OneShot


A/N: Hi guys this is my first fic so don't be rough in the reviews and I'm also a francophone so maybe I did some mistakes but I hope you enjoy the story!

Guilt, the worse feeling that you can have. It's when you know that it's all your fault, when you know that you screwed up but for her it was worse because she knew that she had killed someone. Why did she do that? Why did she exposed the time capsule to all the high school? At this moment, she don't feel like she's a human she's just a murderer! A murderer ! That is what she is! Because of her, two person died! If she didn't do it, anything would happened. Neither Jimmy Edwards or Keith Scott would be dead if she hasn't exposed the time capsule. She's the one who deserve to die at this moment. Since three days, the guilt haunted her. The little voice in her head always tell her that all is her fault and that she doesn't deserve to live. And this day will be the last day of her life. She always did that. Never face the problems. It's too much for her. When she was young, peoples always bothered her because she was fat. So, she did make her a plastic surgery and then she change school. In the past, to shut others mouth up she change herself and today to shut the little voice in her head up she decided to kill herself.

_I feel_

_Guilty_

_My words are empty_

_No signs to give you_

_Don't have the time for you _

It was monday morning, everybody in the school was quiet. In front of Jimmy Edwards's locker it has candles, flowers and a picture of him. The last time she saw him he looked so scared but on this picture he was simply happy. She couldn't take this anymore so she ran out the school and starded to cry.

Rachel what's wrong? Mouth asked. He was a little surprised by her reaction.

How dare you ask me that Mouth. Two peoples are dead and you ask me what's wrong!

I mean, why are you overreacting like that? You didn't even know Keith and the last time you saw Jimmy before the shooting you called him fat ass and you tell me that he got to manage by himself.

And then I saw him in the tutor center. Don't you remember what he said before leaving to shoot Keith? _You know, they're gonna remember me as a monster, I wonder how they'll remember all of you. _We are monsters Mouth! Do you understand! It's our fault, It's my fault if he came to school with a gun this day!

Tears roll on Mouth's cheeks.

Rachel! You know it's not yours, Jimmy Edward was my best friend okay! I've stopped to talk to him . I've got to take the blame! Do you understand me? Stop overreacting, you don't have to torture yourself like that and be strong because it's not your fault!

You'll never understand... And than she start running into the school.

_You say I'm heartless_

_And you say I don't care_

_I used to be there for you_

_You said I've seem so dead, that I have changed_

_But so have you_

_That's you're fault, You killed them, That's all because of you! Murderer. MURDERER!_

ENOUGH!

Rachel? Are you okay? Brooke asked, Mouth told me that you acting a little weirdly.

None of your buisness fat ass!

Listen bitch you're not the one hurted, scared or whatever you feel here. I'm just tryin to help here so stop being a bitch and if you have problems talk to a shrink or a friend cause I have enough problem to take care of and I don't have the time to fight with you!

Fine! It doesn't matter cause I will not be here tomorrow..

What? What are you talking about?

Just leave me alone...

_Guilty _

_I feel so_

_Empty_

_Empty, you know how make me feel_

Brooke, what are you thinking about?

You know she really scares me Hales.

Who the hell are you talking about?

Rachel. Have you seen her today? She was talking to herself, she was pale and Mouth told me that she always said that the school shooting was her fault. I don't know, I have a really bad feeling about that but I don't know if I should go talk to her. You know she's really a bitch with and I don't want to lose contrôle of myself and fight with her. I don't wanna mess up with that cause I know she's really sad and you and I know what someone sad can do.

You know Tigger, I don't think that she would do like Jimmy, I mean she was in the tutor center and she know how hostage feel and...

I don't talking about a shooting!

So what are you talking about?

Attempt of suicide

_I put a shield upon you_

_I didn't mean to hurt you_

_Would've only poisoned your mind_

_Never meant to make you cry_

Mouth we need your help!Have you seen Rachel?

No why? What happened?

Whe worry about her. She scared us. We think she could do an attempt of suicide!

What did she say? Mouth was really scared. Just the idea of imagine Rachel dead freak him and make him to cry. He really care about this girl and he don't want to loose her.

Something about she'll not be there tomorrow and she talked to herself and she seems pretty bad so I want to find her! Don't you know where she is?

No not really. Did you try her house?

Neither or me and Brooke know where she lives. Do you?

Of course! Let's go!

_You've been so thoughtless_

_I can see right through you_

_You used to be there for me_

_Don't leave and say goodbye_

_Cause you have changed but so have I _

Since an hour she was on the top of the roof. The voice in her head was louder as the time pass. She want to shut her up but she was also scared. It's a huge battle when the guilt met the fear but when she saw Mouth, Brooke and Haley in front of her house she remembered the shooting, Jimmy, the tutor center and the time capsule and then she knew that she had no choice.

Rachel don't! Mouth screamed when he saw her with the gun on the roof.

I'm sorry but I have no choice!

You don't have to do that Rachel! A big future is waiting for you! Why do you break all your dreams for that! You don't deserve this! You did nothing!

Is that what you think? I killed Keith and Jimmy Edwards and you said that I did nothing!

- You don't killed neither of Jimmy or Keith! You were with me and Haley in the tutor center!

I'm talking about the High school shooting! All it's my fault!

Why is it more your fault than anyone else? Brooke yelled

Because I exposed the time capsule!All it's my fault. My fault, MY FAULT! It wasn't suppose to be like that. I just wanted to show the truth. The other's pansy. The other day I said that if Jimmy Edward was humiliate it was the truth price. Now, I think that my death and Jimmy and Keith death are the truth's price.

_Guilty _

_I feel so_

_Empty _

_Empty, you know how make me feel_

Brooke, Mouth and Haley were in shock. They were angry at here to have exposed the time capsule but they couldn't let her do that cause it would mean to be as worse as she have been.

Rachel it doesn't mean that is your fault! Jimmy was sad and he would have brought his gun another day.

It's just too much for me... And then she shot herself.

_I never thought that the time and the distance _

_Between us made you so much colder_

_I'll carry the world on my shoulder_


End file.
